Life. It happens. Some people seem to handle it better than others. I’m not one of those people. I often think I’m allergic to life.

Life had me feeling really down a few weeks ago. In the depths of despair. Darkness descending. Tears were flowing. My great aunt died. My cousin passed away a few days later. And the proverbial cherry on top? My son was leaving home for the first time to start his new job. He’s never been away from home. The empty nest just got emptier.

Husband overseas.

Son is leaving.

My right arm is gone. How will I lift weights? How will I continue on. Life seems – sometimes – like it’s hopeless.

Depression mode.

Call therapist

Goodbye world goodbye?

But wait! Not yet! I can do this. I can pull myself up – not that I have any bootstraps, but I can get up and go somewhere – do something.

Drive off a cliff? Too painful.

Go shopping? Retail therapy? Too expensive

To the gym then. I can get a workout from my trainer to do before the iRest class that I joined.

iRest class? Integrative Restoration. Yoga Nidra. https://www.irest.us/

Really? A class where I can take a nap for 40 min? Where I have to lay there and be still and think happy thoughts? What about my ADHD? I tried one week and somebody complained that I was too fidgety. Ya think? Hardwood floors make my hips hurt. Is that a negative thought? It’s a true thought.  The purpose of the class is to

• release negative emotions and thought patterns
• calm the nervous system
• develop a deep capacity to meet any and all circumstances you may encounter in life

Skepticism reigns supreme. I don’t need this class. I don’t need 40 minutes of rest to feel at peace. A place to find my inner resource or make an intention to Be Still. Why?

But now…I am feeling really low. I feel broken. I feel like a shattered clay pot. What do I do? Where do I go? I need out. What the heck. I’ll go to iRest. Maybe it will help. It has been a stressful day and I need peace.

Have you ever been to a place where you just didn’t feel like going and then realized after you were there that it was a So God moment? Exactly what you needed at exactly the right time?

iRest teaches there are 4 keys inside of us. Peace. Joy. Love. Light.

The instructor hands us a glow stick. A glow stick?

Understanding grows clear as the instructor begins to speak in a soft, soothing voice. Inside each of us there is Light, Peace, Love, Joy waiting to be shared with those around us.

We break the glow stick and light begins to shine. That’s what life does, the instructor explains, it breaks us. We break our glow sticks again and more light shines. We break them again and again and again and the glow stick gets brighter and brighter.

Life breaks us again and again but each time it does the light inside of me glows brighter and brighter. Tears are flowing again.

Life has broken me.

But I will be a glow stick.

This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine.