In 2011 – I weighed nearly 300 lbs and my health was deteriorating, fast. I had just graduated with my Masters Degree in Special Education. I studied hard for my teachers exam and passed it! I was a licensed teacher with my endorsement in Special Ed. A dream come true. A dream I had worked hard for.
There were a lot of struggles arriving at this point. My husband was away, working overseas. My daughter, who had gotten married recently, was leaving her husband, who had cheated on her. My Mini-Schnauzer had just gotten pregnant by my Chihuahua – accidentally….AND… My dad had just passed away the last week of my student teaching. There was a lot of stress on my shoulders. A lot of burden bearing, I was being called upon to do. A lot of emotions….
And….like, I always do, I ate them. (I eat my emotions). I would stop at Burger King or McDonalds on the way to the school and get my breakfast sandwich combo. For lunch, I would go back to school and eat another combo meal and for dinner, I would be too tired to cook, so it was eat out again, or make a frozen dinner. I was eating out over 12 times a week!
My health was getting worse. My doctor told me my triglycerides were well over 500, and that, I was basically, a walking heart attack. I could hardly walk around the block without having an asthma attack. Then came the time to start putting my education to work. I needed a job! Interview after interview came and went. It wasn’t that I wasn’t qualified or had no experience, I didn’t get hired, because physically, I couldn’t do the job. I know, discrimination is not supposed to happen but I honestly felt like nobody would hire me because I was “morbidly obese.”
I hate that term, “morbidly obese.” I despise it. I loathe it. I cringe when I hear someone being called by that term. It just sounds so – mortal? final? degrading? shaming? After an interview for a para position, at a local elementary school, I knew that once again, even though I rocked the interview, I would not get the job because I was, “heavy.” No, I was morbidly obese. The hiring people never said that, but it was in their eyes. I was so downhearted and feeling low when I got back to the car. I looked at my daughter with tears in my eyes and I said – “Drive me to the nearest gym. I need to lose this weight. If I want to be a teacher, I must be healthy.”
For the first time – I acknowledged that I was in need of losing weight. I admitted that I needed help. I was tired of being sick and tired and knew that it was time for change. It was the first step in the right direction. Acknowledging, admitting, owning it.
Acknowledging your need to be strong, fit and healthy is important for anyone beginning a fitness or weight loss journey. You need to know for yourself that you are the one who needs to travel on that road. Nobody else can travel it for you. Nobody is going to tell you that you have to do this. It is up to you! Do you want to be strong, healthy and fit and overcome the emotional eating?
Just acknowledge it. Tell yourself there is something you can do. Tell yourself you can do it! You might not know how yet – but that’s okay – it will come.
Congratulations – you have done it. You have passed beyond thinking about doing something, you acknowledged you need help and have taken the first action step towards success.
If you need any help or encouragement – reach out to me. I want to help you achieve your goals. Leave me a comment and I will get back to you.