Believing in myself… for some reason, has never been an easy thing to do. I think sometimes, I judge myself by many so called failures in life. (What I think are failures at least).
- Wendy’s Employee – I worked here when I was 18 and didn’t last long – I dropped the whole jar of bacon bits all over the floor when they put me on salad bar duty.
- Receptionist at an Insurance Office – it was okay, but we lived in Alaska and the stupid car we had didn’t start in the cold weather – so half the time I couldn’t even make it into work.
- Real Estate Agent – Sounded like a fun career. I failed my exams by a few measly points and never retook them.
- Japanese Foreign Exchange English as a Second Language Independent Contractor Teacher – I actually loved this job. I had one more group to teach and I could’ve earned a free trip to Japan. But the military moved us to another state and I never pursued it.
- Special Education Teacher – I got my Masters Degree in this field but alas, seemed the only opportunities I could find was in being a guest teacher and I really wanted my own classroom – but I felt like I was to old. Plus, having a panic attack when teaching a class of kindergarteners never really gave me any brownie points. (I have met the enemy and they are small).
- Losing Weight – let me hear an Amen… This has always been a struggle with me. I lost 115 pounds a few years ago and I put back on 50! Talk about feeling like I failed… but have I? Have I really?
Failures? Sometimes, I would like to think of them as failures…. but when I really, truly reflect on these past opportunities – they become more like stepping stones – preparing me for a future when I would become my own “boss”
It has taught me that I like to be creative. I like to write, work-out, teach and create. I like to be independent. I like writing this blog, doing videos for my YouTube channel, being a reseller, teaching others about fitness and crafts and owning a scrapbook store.
I was not a failure at any of the above. I was meant to do them and gain the experiences to lead me to where I am today.
Isn’t it great…. what Psalm 37:23 says…. the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and He delights in his way. Every thing I ever thought that I had done and failed it…. God was delighting in it all… He has my course and all my future work planned out… Does that mean I should stop working? NO… I just keep doing… and He keeps leading.
How Cool is that. God knows that I am more than I think I am…
He looks down and says…. You’ve got this, girl!