My phone will give off a warning signal whenever the weather is about to get bad. Beeeeeep! Warning! Blizzard conditions – starting tomorrow late at night. Ever notice – how all bad weather always starts late at night? Of course, after that first warning, the very next day, I go into a mild frenzy. Quick! Get it done! Go shopping. Run the errands. Clean the house. Pay the bills. Do an extra workout at the gym. Get the car washed. (Why, I need to get the car washed right before a blizzard, I do not know).
Scurry – Hurry – Worry
There is something about the prediction of an impending storm or blizzard that brings to me, a sense of doom and gloom. Is it the bitter cold temperatures that will make all my muscles feel achy and my joints stiffen? Is it the grayish – whitish sky that should be bright blue with yellow sunshine? Is it the dangerous, icy roads that I must traverse with all the crazy drivers spinning out next to me? And how I am going to get my workout in, if I can’t make it to the gym? Storms and blizzards are not fair.
As Leslie Leyland Fields wrote, “We want the weather to break free from the centrifuge of our gloomy prognostications.” Or, in other words, we want the weather to break free from the spinning of our gloomy predictions about how it might affect us. Like Leslie, the more gloomier the weather, the more anxiety I feel, the more self-loathing I begin to feel.
The past few weeks, it has snowed and it has been brutally cold. The older I get – the more the cold affects me – not just physically but mentally and emotionally. This week, I saw into my cracked, pathetic heart and I was laid low. I was stripped of excuses – the usual cover-ups. I was selfish, callous, no good and rotten to the core. I felt overwhelmed. I felt like digging a hole about 6 foot deep and throwing myself into it. I had a melt-down. I got myself into trouble.
Can I blame the weather? This never-ending succession of bitter cold and gloomy, doomy, gray-clouded skies that brings me to this season of depression – leading to self-loathing? Do I need a hospital for my crappy mind – set? It would be better, I guess, than blaming, a person.
BUT – amidst all these negative thoughts and emotions clouding up my brain and derailing my positive thinking – comes one thought – ringing like the railroad crossing signal – putting me back on track for my Positive Journey.
...You do know – don’t you, that you are right where the devil wants you to be?
If you give into your self-loathing – you have lost the battle and haven’t you come to far to give up now?
Look at everything you have done. Everything that you have accomplished and everything that there is still left to accomplish. Your why is still there. You have so much more to do.
“Be of good cheer. I have overcome the world.”
Now get back out there and fight the fight. Show the world what you got. Run the race! Work hard! and positively, Be Victorious!
Onward then – child.
And today – for the first time since my ankle surgery in September – I sprinted! Not far! But I sprinted! And it felt good!
The next day – after the blizzard was supposed to hit – I look out my window and what to my wondering eyes? There is no snow. The blizzard warning was a false alarm. You mean, I was anxious for nothing? The skies looked gray and cloudy like it wants to bury us in big, cold, fluffy flakes – but nothing! Weather is so hard to predict. Life is so hard to predict.
I never know what the weather or life will be like in any given moment. It might be sunny one minute and snowing the next.
So… from now on…no more panicking from the weather. I’ll make it through. I have a dependable car that gets me through the ice and snow. I have reliable friends and family that give me support and most important – I have a faithful God – His mercies are new every morning. He knows the weather and He holds the future. Great is His faithfulness.
Let it snow
and Let it go…
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